I’m just a girl, standing in front of an Internet, asking them to read what she has to say about a band
A little bit about why I'm here
I wasn’t always this vocal about my favorite band.
I have, however, always wanted to be a music writer. Like, since I was a teenager. And 2022 has been the year I decided to just commit to the bit.
For yearssssss, my dream has been to write 2 books:
Stories about going to SXSW as a teenager/20-something
The Paramore bio/fan memoir
While I was on vacation in May, a switch flipped, and the words about Paramore started pouring out. Fifteen years of quiet fandom accumulated and broke like a thundercloud. All the words I’d never said about my favorite band started filling my blank screen and taking on a life of their own.
In the meantime, Paramore had been in the studio recording an album. Things were in motion. As soon as I opened the floodgates on everything I had to say about them, it hit me like a ton of bricks that if I was going to be the Paramore expert, the Hanif Abdurraqib/Rob Sheffield/Jessica Hopper of Paramore, I had to fucking get on it. Or else someone else would.
I stand by that. Paramore’s next album is shaping up to be their biggest—2017’s critically-acclaimed After Laughter brought them into a broader spotlight than they’d ever seen before (I want to dive into this in further detail… Let’s save it for a future post). I’m positive This Is Why is going to do the same, and more. Their 20-year anniversary as a band is 2024. This Paramore era is begging for a documentary/book/whatever.
So I’ve been writing. And pitching. And TikTok-ing (fucking ugh). And doing this Substack. For reasons my therapist could probably untangle better than I can, it’s terrifying to know that people can actually observe me being passionate about something. I have this petrifying fear of being seen as childish in my interests, or too intense. Of being pigeonholed. Of being perceived at all, really.
(Do other music writers ever feel this way?????)
And honestly? Writing about Paramore taps into some really deep parts of me that aren’t always fun to access. Many of the moments I’ve held their music closest were vulnerable, even painful. The 16-year-old Me crying in her car after school, circling the neighborhood one more time to finish out the second half of All We Know Is Falling, isn’t someone I typically keep on speed dial. And writing about Paramore requires me to look that version of myself in the eye. It hasn’t been easy.
But I keep going. Because, when all else fails, I remember that my soul would literally shrivel like a raisin of despair if I saw someone else announce that they’re writing a book about Paramore. It HAS to be me. It has to.
Someone’s going to get the Paramore book deal. Why not me?
If you’re reading this, thanks for being invested. I’m just a girl, standing in front of an Internet, asking them to read what she has to say about a band—and a couple of you have said fine sure okay I’ll humor you. And for that, I’m grateful.
Stay tuned for more. As Hayley sings in “Looking Up,” we’re just getting started.
Love,
Katie from Paramore
How many days til This Is Why comes out? I’m glad you asked:
